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Lassie looked brilliant, in part because the farm family she
lived with was made up of idiots. Remember? One of them was always
getting pinned under the tractor, and Lassie was always rushing back to
the farmhouse to alert the other ones. She’d whimper and tug at their
sleeves, and they’d always waste precious minutes saying things: „Do
you think something’s wrong? Do you think she wants us to follow her?
What is it, girl?“, etc., as if this had never happened before, instead
of every week. What with all the time these people spent pinned under
the tractor, I don’t see how they managed to grow any crops whatsoever.
They probably got by on federal crop supports, which Lassie filed the
applications for.
— Dave Barry

fortune cockie of the day

„The best thing for being sad,“ replied Merlin, beginning to puff and
blow, „is to learn something. That’s the only thing that never fails.
You may grow old and trembling in your anatomies, you may lie awake at
night listening to the disorder of your veins, you may miss your only
love, you may see the world about you devastated by evil lunatics, or
know your honour trampled in the sewers of baser minds. There is only
one thing for it then — to learn. Learn why the world wags and what
wags it. That is the only thing which the mind can never exhaust,
never alienate, never be tortured by, never fear or distrust, and never
dream of regretting. Learning is the only thing for you. Look what a
lot of things there are to learn.“
— T.H. White, „The Once and Future King“

fortune cookie of the day

Cahn’s Axiom:
When all else fails, read the instructions.

Ein weiser Ratschlag. Wenn ich mir Fragen in Mailing-Listen ansehe, dann fällt mir auf, dass die meisten Fragen durch das Handbuch beantwortet werden. Aber man kann ja mal fragen. Vielleicht macht sich jemand die Mühe, das Handbuch zu lesen. Let Someone Else Read The Fucking Manual (LSERTFM)